CCF News Volume 7 Issue 10

Your Leader in Certified Coach Training

Certified Coaches federation

Clearly Seeing your way

Did you know that most people are afraid of other people?

I didn’t fully realize this until I attended an unusual weekend workshop on personal development. The workshop leader had people who didn’t know each other stand approximately one foot (30 centimeters) across from each other and look into each other’s eyes. Participants were told not to use social crutches like smiling; they just had to look into each other’s eyes and try to connect. We all had a turn doing this.

Then the leader also had 25 members stand up and look at the remaining 75 people. Again our objective was to just look at other people without any gestures or speech.

I couldn’t believe what happened in these two exercises.

Approximately one quarter of the group started to cry, another quarter were pretty close to tears, the third quarter showed signs of discomfort, and the rest were fine.

I concluded that most people are so scared of being rejected, of being judged and looking bad, that it’s incredibly difficult for them to connect with others.

We’re caught up, in varying degrees, in the illusion of “looking good,” of acting as if we have it all together, of believing that we’re separate from each other. The truth is, we’re all vulnerable, we all want to feel accepted, and we all want to feel connected.

It’s your ego that tells you that you’re separate, smarter, richer, dumber, poorer, or just different. As long as you continue to fight the natural laws of being human, your constant shadows in life will be fear, doubt, and anxiety. Only when the ego is tamed will you be able to see through the illusion.

Excerpt, Get the Most Out of Life, by Derrick Sweet

Warwick Publishing, Inc.